In countries like Pakistan, India, Bangladesh its been a taboo for women who lived alone but here just to clear the confusion I am not talking about the independent-women or female who belongs to elite class.
So, coming towards the topic there are 2 types of marriages in our society rare ones are love-marriages and maximum number is of arrange-marriages.For girls marriage is just like a fairy tale. It’s like a prince charming who hold your hand for the life time and swore to protect you from all the harms and give you happiness.But after your big day,everything all of the sudden changes and you feel like you are in a race, in which you have to match up with the society.The fairy tale time vanished, and here are you alone with your spouse fighting for the better future. And when you as a couple realize that there is not any better opportunity in your country for a better future for you and your kids, then you make a big decision a very very big decision that moving apart from each other, living alone , without that warm hugs which give you strength for fighting with crucial circumstances and motivates you in dark times,but you’ll have to take the risk and your husband move abroad and that time when you you see your love on that plane and the plane take off and now you take a deep breath turn back and realize you will die now after that first step you are going to take without your life partner without your love of life. You are all alone here without him everything is just dark, horrible and cuts you from inside you fight with yourself in days and nights. Crying, sometimes motivating yourself but you also know that it will be a very long journey with ups and downs and that proverb ”Money is not everything” proves right.
You can feel your self suspended between your mother’s home that is not yours now according to the so called society and your in laws home. But here hundreds of questions pricks my mind ”WHICH ONE IS MY HOME? AM I HOMELESS? HOW CAN I SURVIVE WITHOUT MY HUSBAND?? etc etc”. Loneliness have a very strong negative impact psychologically and often leads towards fight between you and your husband, and whenever you discuss your mental state with your husband he suddenly shouted ”its OUR decision you had agree on this and now you are letting me down by saying all this” and this sentence breaks you!!
now take a look in another side of picture if you have younger kids and your husband working abroad then the life will be much tough for you.Your baby’s schooling, his extra curricular activities you have to do each and everything alone and if your son or daughter fell sick, you loose yourself between the hospital,pharmacy and baby’s nursing care, and when at night your baby suddenly woke up with tears and you see other side of your bed empty!!! and then probably 80 out of 100 women cry just like their kids and it’s natural, but here as a doctor one thing i want to mention that if you are going to be emotionally weak day by day it will have a bad psychological effect on your kid’s mental and physical health.So,you have to be strong for your children and for your husband’s strength too.
In Conclusion
I sincerely hope this blog has not put you off making a new life abroad – rather I really hope it has shown you that you have to work hard to make your dream come true. There will be times when you and your partner are in different places emotionally speaking, and you will need to offer up pure acceptance of their position even if you cannot fully understand how they feel. If you love your partner enough, you can overcome any adversity – but if you want to make sure your relationship is not unnecessarily tested, future proof it before you move and work hard at keeping communication and love alive!
You are moving abroad for a reason – try not to lose sight of that reason together ever. ❤ ❤
drayeshausman 